


Underneath the Underneath (is nothing but bones and blood)

by Dovey



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Character Study, Gen, Genin AU, Medic Nin, character exploration, chuunin exam au, for once her parents are good parents, genin era au, ninja healthcare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-03 23:19:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17293301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dovey/pseuds/Dovey
Summary: Sakura has a weak heart. This isn’t metaphorical, but literal- she’s born with a heart too small to pump properly. A valve is slightly misaligned, and any strenuous activity could kill her.





	Underneath the Underneath (is nothing but bones and blood)

 

Sakura has a weak heart. This isn’t metaphorical, but literal- she’s born with a heart too small to pump properly. A valve is slightly misaligned, and any strenuous activity could kill her. 

The procedure to fix it is far more than the Harunos could ever afford, even if they saved for years and sold all their possessions. It was the type of thing that required an experienced medic with chakra abilities, and those came attached with a price range almost no one could pay. 

Except for Konoha shinobi, because shinobi are an extension of the state and their healthcare is essential to the system. So from the first day Sakura is born, and Mebuki holds her in her arms and looks down at big green eyes and long lashes and a fragile smile, there was one new truth for the Haruno household that rested above all others: Sakura will become a ninja. 

She’s given books on a range of ninjutsu and genjutsu, as well as political history. Her first toy is a plushie shuriken, and her second birthday gift is a toy nin dog like the Inuzuka raise. She’s given wooden kunai and a slender stick to practice the hand forms with- but never to exhaustion. 

“Don’t push yourself, Sakura.” Her mother would warn. “You just need to pass the physical exams- you’re going to be a desk nin. You have to be brilliant.”

And she is. Sakura studies, spends hours researching what she can and questioning the librarians when she gets truly confused. She knows her mathematics because calculating trajectory or enemy numbers is essential. She knows her history because it’s filled with potential diplomatic minefields in the future. She learns everything she can, but she can’t practice much- not even ninjutsu, in case the chakra exhaustion causes difficulties for her heart. 

She’s the top of her class in academics by miles, drifts far behind in spars, and when they’re old enough the blows are supposed to hurt, she pulls Hinata-chan aside and says, 

“I know your clan style.”

It’s true. She’s no expert, but she understands the principles. “You can beat me every time, but please, don’t hit my chest- don’t hit near my heart.” 

Hinata-chan nods, as serious as any little girl can, and whispers, “I’ve seen it before… It didn’t look normal. I won’t.”

They smile, and while they never talk again, there’s a sense of camaraderie there- shared priorities, perhaps, or at least a shared secret- that lends itself to a kinship. If you asked her, Sakura would call Hinata a friend. That’s an unusual thing for both of them. 

The day she becomes a genin, her family throws a party. They don’t care who her teammates are, her sensei, her future obligations. Their daughter will live. They’ve scheduled the procedure for as soon as possible- in a matter of months, Sakura will have a normal heart, with normal valves, that can match her needs in enthusiasm. She just has to survive a little longer with this fluttering thing in her chest, and she can breath easy for the first time in her life.

Sakura begins the procedure just before the chuunin exams second stage since she failed to pass to the final round. Her parents are attending the match to keep their minds off the admittedly low risks of the surgery.

When Sakura wakes up, she’s alone. 

She has a healthy heart. She can feel it frantically beating in her chest with her confusion, but it’s not arthemic, not offbeat or offcenter. The doctor had realigned the valves and pushed chakra into it to grow to a proper size. Then the doctor left, because Suna and Oto attacked, and the village is a warzone, and the hospital is filled with people in need who aren’t little girls with brand new hearts.

She struggles to her feet, makes her way out of the room, towards the nearest sounds. She finds the emergency zone, filled with frantic nurses and medic nin, scrambling to handle such an influx of patients. She should be on bedrest for at least a month, considering what her body’s just been through. Instead, she stumbles towards the nearest doctor and offers her hands. 

“I can help.” She says, and it’s a promise.

She spends hours stitching clean lines through flesh and disinfecting wounds; wiping blood off skin and washing sand out of cuts- she bandages as much as she can until they run out of stock. It’s not much, but for the first time in her life, Sakura feels useful. All those hours of studying finally put to use, even in such a small way. 

Her heartbeat is calm. Her hands are cool. The doctors with a mind for it, when they can spare the thought, make note of her. She’s not a prodigy by any means, but she’s got the makings of one, and she’s here, trying. That means something.

It’s pure luck that Sakura isn’t the one to find the Harunos. They’re declared dead in the hospital, having barely survived the trip there. Sakura doesn’t find out until three days after the attack. 

She doesn’t see her teammates at all, and for a while, in a haze of sutures and bodies and witnessing minor miracles, she forgets they exist. She doesn’t ask about what happened at the exams, or why. She was going to be a paper nin- she’d read all sorts of reasons why this could happen, why they probably should’ve seen it coming. She doesn’t ask what happened because it doesn’t matter to her- all that matters is the end results of it. Bodies after bodies after bodies piling up and sorting out, living and dead, a sea of them, a massive wave that threatens at any moment to swallow them up. 

Dead. Her parents are dead, she’s a ward of the state, but a low priority one. The doctors keep her around and she sleeps in the break rooms, old gurneys or the lumpy couch to the left. They know she’s there but the village is filled with people in need of homes and Sakura used up most of her good will already on that new creature in her chest, that feels so still to her these days. So they let her stay and she earns her keep as an assistant, learns how to keep the rooms clean enough for surgery and the patients from complaining. Gets good at ratios, at knowing what medications are needed and what tend to cause reactions; can spot a nin with an addiction to a certain painkiller a mile away, and even faster see if they’re on active duty enough to justify feeding the habit. She sees it in her sensei, once, the first time she sees him again after the invasion. He’s got jitters, turned paler than she’d seen before. He doesn’t recognize her either. Hatake: active duty, anbu from the marks of it. If she still considered him her teacher she’d find that exciting. Instead she just makes a note on his chart that she’s cutting his doses in half to keep him aware of his surroundings, and she doesn’t even bother to look when he takes off his mask to gulp for air, when the meds hit him hard all at once and send him gasping. Why should she care what his face looks like? All she can see is bones, these days, the layers underneath. Look beneath the underneath, he’d said, and now it’s all she can see.

They’re all bones, every last one of them, with awful red meat strewn about inside, and it hurts.

**Author's Note:**

> another explanation for canon sakuras behaviors and quick growth during the time skip, and why she would want to be a medic nin. it's one i'm fond of. wish i had the inspiration to add more to this, especially because i feel like a bitter sakura struggling with depression is always worth exploring, but i dont so here you go. also in this particular verse i put forth that kakashi is addicted to drugs- specifically i'm referencing the anbu uppers, not something a hospital would normally provide. It's up to you if he has been the entire time, or if he was in recovery until the conflict was reignited with suna and he had to switch from jounin to active duty and he relapsed.


End file.
